Cissy - English version
by FaerielRoes
Summary: Narcissa wrote a letter to her husband before dying. She want to give him her mémories, her whole life... One-Shot


**Hey guys, it's Mae ! **

**So, i post this fiction « Cissy, original fiction in french. ». I'm so sorry, I don't speak fluent english and i'm not sure my traduction is correct. So, if you finds some error, can you tell me please ? **

**Thank you so much. Hope you'll like it ! Good reading ! **

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"Lucius ... Friend ... lover ... husband ... enemy ... make your choice ... "

I just put my pen on the parchment that words get stuck in my head. No sounds can get out. I'm stuck in front of a single pièce of paper, unable to write a simple sentence, unable to express my feelings for you ...How can I tell you everything that invaded my heart? How can I tell you that I feel as empty as a shell abandoned by the sea on the beach?

Are you still the man who won my innocent virgin heart? Can I still call you my love? Do I doubt it? I do not even know how to love you ... Neither how to understand you. You were the man who melted the girls and I was the lonely girl who loved the books in the library ... Fairy Morgana decided otherwise. Do you remember Lucius, our first meeting? It was long times ago. I remember this like it was yesterday.

You were celebrating with your family the end of your education and your imput in the active world. A huge celebration was held at the Manor, you were surrounded by all your classmates, including my old sister. And I was there, in a corner, hoping that all will finish quickly. Two years younger than my sister, I was the shyest of the sisters, more reserved ... I lived a little in her shadow, crouched in a corner waiting for the light reveals to me. I loved magic more than anything in the whole world. It was my all, my other half; I could not imagine my life without it. Live as a witch and be deprived of this gift was my biggest fear. But when I put my eyes on you, I knew immediately that a new passion was born in me.

I loved everything about you. The cold side you were wearing at school was not there and your face looked more radiant. I loved the roots of your hair blonde dotting your skull. I loved your ice eyes, shining like the stars under your gray eyebrows. I loved the paleness of your skin, perfectly identical to mine. Your sweet young face which nevertheless left side to see your mature and serious. Your deep voice was perfect for your muscular and well maintained physique. I admired the beauty of your hair half-long; they were so beautiful, shiny and silky.

"I loved her, I love her and I will love her. Even part I still think about you, you haunt my thoughts, my dreams, my nightmares. You are and will be with me forever, forever. I watch over you. »

Everything could have ended there if my sister had not driven me strength to this party. I thought, however, be well hidden in my dark corner ... Why you picked me so? To show that you are not interested by the girls of your promotion? For the protocol? Because the protocol requires the young heir to dance all these ladies? Why did you dislodged from my hiding place? Tell me why ?

And I answered with a "yes" low.

It was impossible to refuse this invitation. When your arm hit the mine I felt a heat wave over me. Now I breathe your scent, so sweet. Your hand grabbed mine and contact with your skin and I loved this immediately. You knew me through my sister and my family name.

You were mine and I was yours.

And my heart was beating until the explosion when our lips were affected for the first time.

When you were gripped my neck to better kisses me. It was so passionate. It was unique and wonderful. Our first kiss.

To me, you looked so serious, so haughty, so cold and so cold. I never saw your smile painted on your face, you never loosen teeth. But yes, I loved you like crazy. I was perhaps too devoted to you, ready to do anything to keep you near me. Perhaps it was an illusion ... One night I saw some tears at the edge of your eyes. But it was short; you already hunted with a wave of the hand, leaving just your skin moist. Your status forced you to stay like this, so I understood. But I fell in love with you or an ice person by a stupid protocol?

ILLUSION...

But let me ask you something. What I am for you Lucius? A toy that drops the day after Christmas? A new virgin? A person you really loved? I love you as much as I hate you, love is destructive and I'm soon realized.

If I do not know how to love you, what about you? How do you love me? Do I have a place in your heart? I feel wander. So much suffering of which you are responsible have broken me. What do you want? I need to know! I need to know who are you really ?

I was almost jealous of the passion you had to your work. In your master. The evil forces that deployed to bend the world and plunge it into chaos. Unhappy and you didn't see anything.

I had nothing. Just love you. And hate you. I did not suffer in this way; I did not know that my life would change as well. Nobody told me you could change Lucius. No one had warned me. And not you, mom.

I learned to not pay my tears of despair in places where I was sure no one would see me. I learned how to destroy me in the silence. I became shadow of myself and I expected nothing.

All these sacrifices were for you. Because I thought, I loved you. Because I knew that someday you'd come back to me. I hoped.

Are you this man so cruel Lucius? I gave you all. I was blindly in love with you but I wanted to die someday.

...

Pregnancy.

I suffered when I saw the traces of blood on my dress. When I lose the life that was growing inside me. I wanted to cry and receive comfort.

I could never ever forget this trauma. Even after the birth of our son. It was hard and it will remain so forever. You cannot imagine what I felt this day. When my baby die. Can I say yours? How many times had you attended medical appointments with me?  
**  
**This time I decided to don't die**  
**I can't stop loving you Lucius.

I could hate you and wish you to die in horrible pain. But I could also love you begging you to make me love, madly and passionately as the day of our honeymoon. Because I couldn't stop loving you.

I didn't want to soil the manor of my corpse. I didn't want to work, you're a proud man, I understood this with time. ... But what can I do?

It was impossible to love you without destroying us. The fire of passion ended up biting us from within until the explosion of our hearts ... We were two proud guys. You were conceited. Our love was destructive.

This letter represents all these years together. Watch over Draco. This is your son. Love him like I love him. My precious baby.

Draco.

My dragon.

Farewell Lucius, you were still my greatest love, one and only. When you'll read this letter, can you send to our son all my love? I would ensure over you from up there. You should not feel remorse that was not the goal. I had to tell you how I lived. How was hell and paradise? Be happy my love. Finds happiness, I have not been able to bring you! Rebuilt your life, my Lucius.

How to tell you for the last time that I love you with all my strength? I feel the tears running down my cheeks ... I love you as much as I will hedge. You are my treasure as my burden.

I liberate us, I go first. Protects our son, tell him that his mother love him beyond the stars. Goodbye my love. I love you and I'll stay in your heart, forever.

Lucius had returned earlier from his job. His son was at school and only come within two weeks. His wife was wandering about his business. He would tell her his day at dinner. He went upstairs after first threw his traveling cloak on a hapless house elf. He went into the bedroom. The dark curtains were drawn and the atmosphere was heavy. A candle was burning on the dresser and a silhouette seemed frozen to the ground.

_Lucius P.O.V  
_  
I threw myself on the ground, pressing me against the unconscious body of my wife. My sweet Narcissa. She was livid. A letter was on the desk. I stretched my wife on the floor and took the letter. My eyes became blind. Had she really felt what she wrote? I felt my throat tighten with emotion. I looked at the ground. Drug vials corpses lying around roughly on the carpet. A red band flowed from the lips of my sweet wife.

-Narcissa, What did you do? I exclaimed in the taking against me, shaking her awake.

But she did not wake up. Her eyes were closed and she seemed relieved of all. A tear rolled down my cheek. I was a monster for her; she hated me as much as she loved me? She had gone off like the sun on the horizon ... except that she would never return. How was I going to announce her death to our son?

How can I realized that... She was dead?

I give her a kiss on the forehead. My sadness flowed down my cheeks. I did not care completely of the protocol. It took the unthinkable happens for me to go that I had done something wrong and that I loved her more than anything. Never again I could love someone like I loved her...

-I'll always love you Narcissa Black Malfoy. You are my soul mate and I will never forget you.

**THE END**

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**Guys, do you like it? Can you send me some reviews for I know your point of view? Thanks you sooooo much**

**See you soon on a other fiction! **

**Xxxx**


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